


where i can scream (how i love you)

by aetherpunk



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Airports, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Meetings, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Nightmares, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-18
Updated: 2020-11-18
Packaged: 2021-03-09 17:54:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27620306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aetherpunk/pseuds/aetherpunk
Summary: You're coming backAnd it's the end of the worldWe're starting overAnd I love you darlingAnd I am done, dearI want you - Mitski---♡---or; the question of “is meeting someone you’ve known online for years for the first time in-person supposed to be this nerve-wracking?”
Relationships: Karl Jacobs/Sapnap
Comments: 11
Kudos: 434





	where i can scream (how i love you)

**Author's Note:**

> if u dont like shipping real ppl plz don't read..... i am but a simple yearning boy...

\---♡---

Anticipation boiled over like an unwatched pot, the scorching water coating Karl’s skin with goosebumps. His leg bounced as he looked out of the plane seat window, tugging on his hoodie strings. The ground below the plane, below the clouds, was so incredibly  _ flat.  _ He had travelled a lot with Jimmy, but this was something else. He had never been so  _ nervous.  _

Was it normal to feel dread when you were meeting with your online boyfriend for the first time? 

Karl wasn’t sure. He had been zoning in and out the past two hours, never quite being able to fall asleep. He cursed at himself for forgetting to grab something- anything to do. He had nothing, too excited to pack anything except a week’s worth of clothes and the bare necessities. He never charged his laptop before packing it, his phone barely clinging to its 20% that Karl planned on using to call an Uber. 

Why was he doing this, again?

\---♡---

_ It had been a late night, and Karl had been up at impossible hours because of a nightmare. He sat down at his computer chair and booted it up, trying to find something to get his mind off things. He had scrolled through Discord, clearing notifications and putting heart reactions on the fanart that he saw. Karl jolted slightly when he heard a ping sound, noticing that he had a message. _

**_sapnap,_ ** _ 2:43 AM _

_ > karl? _

**_karl_jacobs,_ ** _ 2:44 AM _

_ > hi _

**_sapnap,_ ** _ 2:44 AM _

_ > i thought u were going to bed _

_ > can’t sleep? _

**_karl_jacobs,_ ** _ 2:44 AM _

_ > ya no. _

_ > had a nightmare lol _

_ > not a biggie.  _

_ > just trying to get my mind off it, yk? _

**_sapnap,_ ** _ 2:44 AM _

_ > yeah def. _

_ > do u wanna call? _

_ > ik those help me when i need a distraction _

**_karl_jacobs,_ ** _ 2:45 AM _

_ > ok :] _

_ Karl had smiled softly as the incoming call notification lit up his screen, quickly hitting the accept button. _

_ “Hi,” he mumbled, sleepiness evident in his voice. _

_ “Hey, babe,” Sapnap had responded, sounding just as tired. _

_ Karl giggled in response, still not used to the butterflies that erupted in his chest like a volcano just from hearing Sapnap call him ‘babe’. _

_ They had sat like that for a while, just relishing in the comfortable silence of gently whirring computer fans and occasional clicks of a keyboard and mouse. _

_ “Do you want to talk about it?” Nick’s voice was low and somewhat gravelly. It made Karl’s heart flutter. _

_ “Talk about what?” _

_ “The nightmare.” _

_ Karl shifted in his chair, trying to get his legs to unstick from the leather seat. “Uh. Not yet.” _

_ “Okay.” _

_ They sat for a while longer, Karl idly checking his emails from his boss. Would you call Jimmy a boss? Probably. If you’re getting paid by someone, they’re probably your boss. Karl had heard Sapnap typing before he spoke up. _

_ “Do you… want to play Minecraft or something?” _

_ “...Sure, Minecraft sounds fun. What do you want to do?” _

_ “I was thinking of Bed Wars? It might be good to sharpen our PVP skills before the next MCC.” _

_ “I was thinking the same thing!” Karl had winced at his sudden increase of volume. He didn’t mean to be loud, and he didn’t want to wake up anyone on accident. Sometimes he just got excited. _

_ Sapnap chuckled softly. “You’re so cute.” _

_ Karl ignored the burning in his blood and booted up Minecraft, tapping his foot as the loading bar filled. He put his mouse at the very end of the bar, childish amusement washing over him as he pretended that the mouse was crushed by the sudden progress. It was silly, but it was fun. _

_ Karl hopped onto Hypixel, chat quickly flooded with friend and party requests. He found Sapnap’s party invite and clicked it, trying to refrain from being overwhelmed by the number of people requesting his attention. It was almost immediately that he was swept into a Bed Wars lobby.  _

_ They played silently, occasionally warning the other of oncoming players or informing each other what they were about to do. It wasn’t nearly as showy as what they’d normally do if they were recording, just casually playing for fun. There were times where Sapnap would cuss when he was knocked off an edge, or times where Karl would huff as he was rocked into the sky because of a fireball. But the atmosphere was serene. _

_ They were about three games in when Karl spoke up, his voice feeling rough like sandpaper. He wished he had a water bottle, but it was too late. _

_ “You were there.” _

_ “Huh?” _

_ “In my nightmare. You were there.” _

_ “Oh,” a pause, “anyone else?” _

_ “No. I think Bad and Jimmy had been there, but when my brain tuned into the dream, they were gone. It was weird.” _

_ “Sounds like it,” Nick muttered, “What else?” _

_ “Um. There was… a lot of tension. You… were mad at me, I think. I don’t know what I did.” Karl had taken a deep breath, staring at his hands on the luminescent keyboard. “You kept… calling me a bitch. It wasn’t anything much more than that, but… it really hurt. There was this look on your face, like… like you had never seen anyone so disgraceful in your life.” _

_ “Karl,” the other had started, but Karl kept going. _

_ “And, and, no matter what I said, you just kept getting  _ angrier,  _ and I didn’t know what I did, I still don’t, and I tried to tell you that, and-” Karl remembers trying not to cry. “And you pushed me. Hard enough to fall back and hit the ground. And you didn’t even look sorry, you just kept swearing at me, and I don’t know what I did, I don’t know, I-” _

_ “Karl.” Nick’s voice grounded him, and he had only then realized that waterfalls were pouring from his eyes. He looked up from his hands at his screen, realizing he was floating midair. The bed had been destroyed, and he had been killed. It felt ironic. _

_ “I would  _ never  _ do that, Karl. I’d be found dead before I’d hurt you like that, and I don’t plan on dying.” Karl grinned at the smile in Sapnap’s tone. “You’re so sweet, Karl. I don’t know if you could  _ ever  _ upset me like that. And even if you did, I love you too much to stay mad at you.” _

_ Karl had started crying again, but for a different reason. “I love you too,” he sobbed. With a sniff, he continued, “I’m sorry for letting the bed get destroyed.” _

_ “I don’t care about the bed, Karl.”  _

_ “I know, but-” _

_ “Do you know when you have a day off work?” Sapnap asked suddenly. Karl blinked. _

_ “Uh… no? I’ll go check. Why are you asking?” _

_ “Just go check.” _

_ Karl tabbed out of the video game and back into his email, refreshing the page to double-check. He noticed he had an unread from Jimmy, quickly clicking on it. _

_ === _

**_To:_ ** _ KarlJacobs, ChandlerHallow, and 3 others _

**_MrBeast_ ** _ , at 9:52 PM _

_ > Hey guys. I’m going to need to cancel the next two weeks of recording sessions. I’m really sorry, something just came up. I promise it’ll be a paid week off, don’t worry, I just have some health and family things I gotta take care of. Thank you for understanding. _

_ === _

_ Karl blinked, rereading the message to double-check. _

_ “Uh, Sapnap?” _

_ “Yeah, Karl?” _

_ “I have the next two weeks off. Work stuff got pushed back.” _

_ “Is everything okay?” _

_ Karl read the email out to his boyfriend. Sapnap smiled. _

_ “Cool. Cool. So you’re free tomorrow?” _

_ “...Yes? That’s what I just told you.” _

_ “Right. Sorry. Follow up question, completely unrelated, do you fly well?” _

_ “Like… On planes?” _

_ “Yeah, on planes.” _

_ “Uh. Decently? Wait- Sapnap, what are you-” _

_ “Don’t worry about it.” _

_ “Sapnap!” _

_ “Don’t worry about it, Karl!” _

\---♡---

And that’s how he ended up here. On a plane. Because his boyfriend was so excited to prove his admiration for Karl, that he bought him plane tickets straight to Houston, Texas. Karl insisted that he pay Nick back, but he refused. So, had he started to pack his bags and prepare for the flight that was only in a matter of hours.

Karl was quickly pulled from his thoughts as the overhead speakers pinged, looking at the roof as if that was actually where the voice was coming from. 

“Please make your way back to your seats and fasten your seatbelts, as we are about to land.”

Realization dawned upon Karl, hitting him like a runaway freight train.  _ He was about to meet Sapnap, his boyfriend, for the first time.  _ Holy shit. Holy shit! His nerves pricked at his skin like pins and needles, his brain reminding him of how his jeans stuck uncomfortably to his skin after sitting in the same position for two hours. Adrenaline coursed through his veins, his heart pounding loudly in his throat. 

The ground approached faster than Karl would have liked. He’s a vibrating bundle of nerves, and the passenger beside him could see it. Karl wondered if they had noticed how anxious he was the entire flight, or if they noticed how he literally sat and did nothing. Before he could even get worried about what they might think of him, he heard the speakers ping on again. The words didn’t necessarily process, but he had flown in enough planes to know they were saying to stay seated for the time being. 

As nervous as Karl was, he was glad to get off that plane. He never remembered until he was off of them how cramped and tight they were, how the slightest wrong move could have you knocking your chair back into a stranger, kicking the person’s feet in front of you, or accidentally brushing knees with the person beside you. It sucked, but the worst was over. Karl quickly pulled his phone out of his hoodie pocket and flipped off the airplane mode setting, waiting as his reception bar slowly filled and his notifications came flooding in. The first thing he noticed was that he had an unread text from Sapnap.

From  **Nick Sapnap,** at 11:21 AM

> Text me when u land?

He quickly typed a response before shoving his phone back in his pocket.

From  **Karl Jacobs,** at 12:43 PM

> landed :]

Karl quickly stopped to grab a drink from the Airport SubWay. The soda was not good, but it was enough hydration and carbonation to fight away the endless headache of an underlying caffeine addiction. After two or three sips and making his way to the baggage claim, Karl tossed the drink, wiping his hands off on his jeans. Nasty.

He sighed with relief as he finally reached baggage claim, the sun trickling gently through the large windows of the Houston airport. Karl wished absentmindedly that he had just used his suitcase as his carryon, but he knew that it probably wouldn’t pass through security, and that’d just be a whole deal. He kept his eyes out for a pastel blue bag, trying to ignore his belittling thoughts about not being able to tell the difference. Not his fault he’s colourblind.

Karl pulls his phone back from his pocket, opening Twitter and checking his feed. He typed a response to one of Quackity’s tweets, before reading it over again and deleting the draft. He’s gotta come up with a better bit than that. 

He looked back up from his phone and looked at the luggage that was starting to pile together, not seeing his suitcase anywhere. An unreasonable fear that it had been left in North Caroline briefly swept over him, like waves against a shore. Just as soon as it had fallen on him, it had pulled back. Karl jolts as he hears someone behind him clear their throat.

“Hey, uh. I think this is yours?”

Karl turns on his heel, jaw dropping as he sees him.

“NICK!”

Without much else of a warning, Karl leaps into Sapnap’s arms, squeezing him until he threatened to pop. Nick wheezed softly, laughing at the other’s excitement.

“Hi.”

Nick eventually finds himself hugging Karl back, wrapping his arms gently around Karl’s waist. He’s so thin, Sapnap is worried that too much pressure would shatter his fragile porcelain skin. When Karl finally pulled back, he was beaming. Stars filled his ocean eyes, and Nick wondered if he was drowning. 

“I can’t believe we’re here! You’re here!”

“I’m here,” Nick laughs softly, pressing a soft kiss to Karl’s cheek. 

Karl unlatched himself from the other, looking at the rolling suitcase beside him. “Hey! That’s… Did you try to take my stuff?” He looked up at Nick, tilting his head the side.

“No,” Nick says, although his tone sounds suspicious. “I was just holding onto it for you. Didn’t want someone to steal it.”

“No one’s going to steal my stuff,” Karl pouts, brow furrowing as he sees the amusement on Sapnap’s face. “Unless their name is  _ Nick _ , apparently.” He playfully elbows his boyfriend in the side.

“Ow!” Nick fake cries, leaning onto Karl. “You’ve wounded me! My poor, poor bones!”

Karl rolls his eyes. “Are you ready to go? I wanna get out of here.”

“Yeah.”

Sapnap takes Karl’s free hand, and the two walk out of the airport. They talk idly as they find Nick’s car, but truly, Karl’s mind isn’t necessarily processing it. He can’t believe that this is  _ real.  _ He’s literally holding hands with his boyfriend for the first time. Karl feels like a child, the thousand of butterflies in his chest fluttering so loudly it made his ears ring and his skin tingle. 

He climbed into the passenger seat of Nick’s car, legs bouncing as the other placed his luggage in the back seat for him. Nick cranked the car and hopped in, gently placing his hand on Karl’s leg. Karl took it for a moment and squeezed.

“You alright?” His words broke the barrier that Karl had trapped himself in.

“I can’t believe this is real.” Karl’s throat felt dry. “Can you pinch me?”

Sapnap grinned. “I can do ya one better than that.”

He leaned over the centre console and gently kissed a kiss to Karl’s forehead. 

Karl giggled softly, “Uh… You missed.”

“Huh?”

Before Nick could even properly process and question what Karl had said, Karl was wrapping his arms around Nick’s shoulders and closing the gap between them. Despite being the one to initiate it, Karl’s face was burning hot, rosy pink cheeks darkening to a tomato red. He noticed how delicately Nick held him, how his lips were softer than petals. 

Karl eventually pulled away, gently bumping foreheads with Sapnap. The other exhaled sharply, like he had forgotten how to breathe. Nick brought his hand to Karl’s cheek, and Karl leaned into the touch. 

And then Sapnap pinched his cheek.

“Ow! What the honk?!”

“You told me to pinch you,” Sapnap chuckled. 

“Yeah, but you weren’t supposed to  _ actually _ !”

“Well, you caught me off guard with that kiss, so I think we’re even,” Sapnap grins. 

Karl scoffs, “No, we aren’t! No way! That’s not fair at all!”

Nick hums. “What are you gonna do about it?” he teases softly.

Karl kisses him again. And again. And again.


End file.
